Few days ago, Iris visited me in Shanghai and we suddenly remembered we had this batch blog, which has really gone defunct.

Now we've all grown up and it's so much harder to keep track of what everyone is doing these days. So much has changed. We're no longer those little girls in pinafores; we are now doctors, investors, civil servants, auditors - professionals in our own industries. We are masked in make-up, grown-up clothes, totting around in high heels (yes, even tsemin :) ).

I'm glad we still keep in touch, and I'm glad for the blog (and the batch book - where's the batch book!) that still holds memories, and reminds me of the little girls we once were.

(If Clarine reads this, she is gonna smack me for calling her a little girl.)

i know you guys will love this, so i'm posting the link here!!

http://inbflat.net/

(actually, when i click play, i hear G. My brain still thinks I play alto clarinet -.- )

WRONG. actually the last time we met up was at banana leaf apolo at racecourse road (=
and also, i'm in the uk, shunling is in uk, huichong is in japan?, isabel is in america, iris is in australia, liurui will be in the uk soon but for 2months only.. is that it?

i watched the les mis 25th anniversary concert at the o2 stadium over the weekend. it was incredible! the moment the first chord opened i was like OMG. and the horns (and sometimes the trombones) were the best ones i have ever heard in my life (maybe comparable to the studio ghibli concert at budokan, but they had something like 10horns, whereas les mis had 5-6?) i tell you the entire orchestra was just a surfer riding on the massive tsunami-like wave that were the horns. the oboe solos were also dam dam nice (altho at one point i swear he was just quivering on going flat). they changed the orchestration for the concert so it was a bit odd, like too much of the melody was being carried on the harp i felt, and no windchimes for on my own was like a big hole! but you can get used to it i suppose. and i guess also cos normally the pit orchestra doesn't have much, so now they zenged the bass parts and i think maybe the cellos and double basses couldn't really keep up with the intensity, or maybe cos i was sitting in the nosebleed section the acoustics weren't that great. but it was amazing anyway! when they started do you hear the people sing i just kept thinking of all of you guys (= and marching in the sun and all that. (= i'm going to get the dvd so at our next gathering we can watch (=

OMFG. this blog is so defunct x.x
the last post was mine and that was (very)nearly a year ago! ow.

we don't meet so much nowadays I guess. nic's still in the UK. but the rest of us are in Singapore right? RIGHT?

to recap, last we met, if i recall correctly, was when nic dated me to butterfactory though she didn't attend. and we were all at raffles city. ate at the sushi tei there. at a lovely private cornerish place with fake curtainy things. and we ssampled mooncakes. much.

we should meet up.
AND revive the blog.

woooooooooooooooooooooot~

I miss you guys :( Reading all the old posts :) And laughing at hy's new post. What? Have we all become aunties already? :) Hahas.

Wanted to post the other day. Cos I dreamt of the rg band peeps. All in Europe. Haha. In a snowy kind of place. Guess we were holidaying or something. And it was like kind of an adventure climb or something. Cos we were all clambering over some rocks covered with snow. And as usual, the sporty and brave people like Rui and Inez are like shooting ahead, and disappearing into the white wilderness. And like me and most of the gang (HAHA) were like panting and trying to get ahead. And then trying to call them (the people ahead) back cos we found a shelter for the night and didn't want to go further HAHA! Well weird dream but quite cool.

I am doing my dissertation. I'm such a boring geek these days. All I talk about or do is my dissertation. Lala~ Went to London for the Halloween weekend. Londoners are so not adventurous about costumes. Bleh~ And went to watch Avenue Q cos Wicked (which I thought was a great Halloween thing to catch) was full. It's so funny. Haha. I just laughed and laughed. I don't know if there's a youtube thingy or whatever. But go watch it. It's quite cynical and yet hilarious. I do think it's the kind of thing we like x.x (Do tell me if I'm wrong)It's about how screwed up life is basically. And quite true it is. Maybe that's why it's funny. There are some explicit muppet sex scenes (which I found highly disturbing) and quite a bit of vulgarity. But it's all in good fun. I do recommend it if anyone's bored and sick of life. It makes you see the funny side of things :)

Well - before I write a bloody long essay - tata~

hey! i'm home early today. lessons end 2hrs early on fridays. so we dont have to go back after lunch. so i decided to blog (when i saw cin's post yesterday, so dont gloat)


first things first, i nv go travelling with them because.. they didnt wanna travel last weekend. and wanted to go to the mall.. which was kind of boring.. because i'd been there many times. and i didnt really wanna go to the mall just to take purikuras anyway. so i went to this place called inuyama. and it was really small. but nice. only i was on my own and didnt have much time to stop pple to take photos for me.. so its just pics of the scenery. snap and go kind. but as cin knows. i like to have people in my photos. so that was abit.. regretful. it was really tiring though. left house at 8am and returned at about 9pm. popped by nagoya on the way home to grab a hrc pin for my father..


this wk they're off to kyoto for the gion matsuri. but i'm not going because there will be too many people i think. may be off to matsumoto. but its kinda far and i'm feeling lazy. but i know that if i dont. then i most probably would not. so.. it'll be a super expensive trip as well. maybe next week we'll do something as a house, like make a date to go eat the giant parfait or something.


caught the gokusen movie though! didnt understand half of it and it was rather expensive.. but it was fun just watching a movie that had just come out and stuff. besides, the storyline is always similar.. so cant really go wrong. it was fun.. 4 of us watched it in all =)


and how was badminton today then? i hope you all ache alot after that hehhheh. but it also shows that you had a good workout =)


and i dont forget you guys whilst travelling. keep thinking that.. so and so will like this. i wanna show this to.. whoever. kind of thing. but travelling alone's really nice as well. and i've managed to get by with very mediocre japanese.


good job on the research! how was the concert? i miss mr oura =(
no more band, no more mr oura as well.. i miss my trumpet too..

you guys shld have bought him ferrero rocher for the concert! only i doubt you'd have gotten to see him..


ehh which korean guy were you drooling at? i dont like the korean hyd guy too. but i'm not sorry :p nahh. kidding.


and today.. well. it was a long story. i kind of feel bad.. so i'm going to write it here. our blog should really be locked. i dont think anyone will find it.. but hrmmms. dangerous.


so to cut a long story short. i've been having lessons from 9am to 240 in the afternoon with a 50 min lunch break. then i had private lessons. computer sessions 3x a week where you do exercises on the computer and the tcher corrects them. and then i was super bored at computer sessions so i changed it to private lessons 3x a week (more expensive) so frm this week i'll have lessons til 340 3x a week.


my private teachers are damn cool! the woman teacher has family in singapore. and shes like.. really nice. she gets amused easily.. i get scared when she starts laughing at what i say.. haha. the male teacher is even cooler! haha. cause he asked what i wanted to do.. like particles/conversation and stuff during private lessons.. and like.. various questions. and then i brought up the fact that my housemates and i watched some variety show together..and went for the gokusen movie.. and he was like.. thats good. pls try to watch some everyday! hahahah. i mean, its gd to learn this way and its common sense.. but the way he said it was really funny..


i dont know if i told you guys that i got placed in a class lower than my abilities. so i was like really bored for the first week. they kept emphasizing that this is a conversation class and that my abilities were kinda below par.. which is kinda true. but after warming up for a few days. i requested another placement test to move up. thats esp because the book that they use is the same and that the materials are similar so its like really really repetitive and boring. and like.. motivation was slowly seeping away from me.

geee. so i kinda did pretty ok on the test. or so i thought. and i asked around and supposedly i shld have been able to move up. so today when i looked at the class allocation lists (that are changed every friday) i was not able to jump levels. i was in the same class albeit halved because the others didnt do well on their test (which was different from the placement test that i took) so it was just essentially the same class with people that are able to progress to the next part of the curriculum. theres a test weekly to see if they can continue with the syllabus for you, if not you have to repeat it for a week. and theres a huge test once every 2 weeks to see if you can switch classes or move up to the next level.

so they told me the next class didnt have vacancy and i cldnt move. and i swear you cld almost see steam emanating from my head for at least an hour. whilst the teacher was talking i was like.. concentrate, concentrate, concentrate! and i was just so pissed off. was thinking like.. did you give me the test just to placate me knowing that i cannot move up.

the people are here for varying periods of time and commence study differently. so its like. every thursday.. the program ends for a number of people, and pple leave, so there should be vacancies opened up. so i didnt understand why no vacancy in the next class. so i was fuming and i think my housemates were shocked that.. tm cld be so.. i dont know.

because theres this jap major in my class who is also my housemate, and she is better than me at jap.. learnt it for 2 years, but she didnt do v well on the written test. so she accepted that she couldnt move up. and i just.. couldnt accept it. because i think i got the requisite marks from both the written and spoken tests, and no vacancy is not a valid excuse. esp if you keep advertising the fact that if there is too many people in the class, they usually will try to split it up and then keep class sizes small. if you make the claim, then you'd better substantiate it, was what i thought.

so i went to see the teacher in charge of the program and he said ok. see me after lessons end for the day and i'll ask the teacher of the next class to interview you to see if you can move up. and thank goodness for me, the teacher is a nice one.. from what i heard, and i think it kinda facilitated me moving up. so i start a new class on monday! and from there on, it'll be difficult and challenging cause things will be moving much faster than usual. and i'll have to read to catch up. but its definitely something i look forward to.

but at the same time i feel bad, because they did it in a really nice way.. and i was just like.. super bummed out from it i guess they could tell. like your motivation sinks lower than it already was. at that point in time, i kinda understood why this guy in my class (who left yesterday) kept skipping class. i was so bummed out i just wanted to walk out of class immediately. well, its just me and my violent tendencies and emotions at work again -shrugs-

so. i think. us rggirls are maybe a little aggressive huh.

so thats the end of my story. teacher was like. dont pull a long face all the time, i understand where are you coming from and i dont doubt ur abilities but this is a conversational course and not academic. implying that well the chapter you're at doesn't really matter.

and i swaer i never pull long face all the time. AND i was just thinking that its no use practising slowly things that you've learnt and practiced before if the context and the stuff you learn and practice are the same.. like you dont get ahead. esp if you dont have enough vocab. so yeah. was emo about it. but then in the end i cldnt express my gratitude to them for allowing me to move up either becasue.. well. i asked it was ok for me to speak in english. and the tcher expresseedly said cannot beacuse this is a jap sch even though they all understand english perfectly fine and speak the language perfectly. they hardly let us catch them speaking english or give us the option of speaking english because it is a jap sch.. unless you need help from the international office that is -.-

so i have come here to rant. and i'm sorry this is like my personal blog. the posts are long winded. eeeeeps.

i told u it was my blog haha~

cl, nic and i playing badminton at sengkang tomorrow 4-6pm. (just to show off how fit we are)

i just want to say
MR OURA IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!
he makes me want to join band. haha~
i need to start a mr oura fan club.
i bet mr. oura misses our ferrero rocher.

omg tm! i'm so glad u're doing so well. and i -for once- have been going on msn VERY often but i NEVER see u. like never. like never never. (don't tell me it's the time difference haha). and i'm glad u've found many friends and that your housemates are so friendly - why you never go travelling with them - surely they'll like to see the city more. and it'll be fun to go watch gokusen the movie with them cos at least u won't be the only one strugglign to understand. i totally cannot make it watching without subtitles. it's like when they come to the emoemo part where the people have soliloquyss (OMG I CANT SPELL IT) have long thoughtful thingies or when they have lengthy explanations about how the victim was killed i totally give up.

and i am keeping up the weekly badminton thing. i'm SOOOOOO proud of myself (for organizing somethingg and for keeping fit). woohooo~ we're going this fri afternoon - and tm, we'll think of you! hahaa~ don't forget us while travelling HOR.

and the research. i am doing today! yay! after like 2 weeks' break =( i know i'm very lazy. i felt so lazy yesterday and guilty and stressed out. so today i woke up early (as in like 9.30am + some snoooze time) to study. except i ended up watching some drama while eating breakfast and googling the handsome (actually not handsome but i like him nonethelesss and i'm not going to say who cos everyone's gonna laugh at me GRRR like i laugh at hy for liking the koreann hana yori dango boy - i'm evil, sorry hy) boy. and then i started work at 11am, but i've been chatting to cl and lynette on msn and uhh googling from time to time. but i'm nearly done with my 15th pg. except i'm not going to make it on time to finish the book AND vacuum and mop the floor AND iron all the clothes AND shower and get ready for the concert tonight x.x so exciting. i can just imagine all the feelings flooding back. of the smell in the esplanade. of the music. except this time i won't be sitting amidst the instruments and in front of our beloved mr. oura. this time i'll be sitting comfortably(?) in the audience, one of those anonymous faces i've always wondered at while sitting on the stage in the first few tense moments before getting lost in the musicccc~

and tm, no way is this going to be YOUR personal blog. more like OUR personal blog ok. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

hey pple -waves- i'm still alive!

so very sorry. it's been almost 4 days.. was gonna blog but various things just ate up my time. and cin.. i'm so sorry that you were scolded cause you went home late!

anyway. i'm ok! i miss you guys too.. greatly. this summer was so short. and i dont know. i'm still adapting to life here. the pple are friendly and the accomodation is nice. there are 11 rooms in the house, previously only 4 pple lived here. then this whole new batch of us came in and we have like what.. 9 i think.

the first few days.. dinners were 4 hour affairs where we just ate sushi/cooked at home and sat at the dining table and talked. that's why my nights have been so happening i havent posted! then i come online to talk to pple. and die early in the morn. i was fine the whole of today despite sleeping late last night, and erms. just flopped onto the bed to nap at 6pm. thank goodness fridays are shorter sch days.. i've private lessons so i end an hr later everyday. but all's well i hope. my placement is pretty much lower than i hoped. but i cant complain because my housemate who knows like more terms and such as me got placed in the same conversation class -.- anyway.. just had dinner :)

so how was badminton? i miss badminton playing. at least i can pretend to feel fit. been doing alot of walking around here. but i havent taken pictures of the town. nothing much really. just a really quaint and quiet one. havent visited the local sights apart from this huge mall like 30min away from where we stay. its not like we shop much cause the stuff are so expensive.

i've been pretty confused lately. and its like cultural differences at work. plus i think i'm almost at the time where i'm supposed to be emo. so i have no idea. today was teh first day of sch following the placement test and orientation. i realised i could have left singapore tuesday night instead. but at least i had time to get used to teh place, shop for stuff and like settle in with the housemates..

but being the only asian here is weird (a little) because its cultural differences. but yeah. i was so glad when this long term study taiwanese girl came back frm her little summer break yesterday. she can understand eng, but cant speak much.. so i've been practising chinese with her :) and shes like really really hospitable. we've been shoving each other milk tea from our secret stashes. haha.

i see you're keeping fit cin! good job.. how's the research going? -winks-

i think i'm travelling tomorrow. alone. i still dont understand what pple are saying but from what i heard, the transport's ok. as in relatively convenient. so i shld do it. instead of not. i wish to know more abt the city and the surroundings rather than go to the same few places everyday. which have pretty much been the case actually.

and you know what. not only guys make vulgar jokes.

and we're potentially the bitchiest girls around because we wont accept anything less than an rg girl =p

i've ranted on and on. and this is ALMOST my personal blog already. i'll post soon, maybe during one of these days when i'm having brekkie and have nothing to do. got homework to do every day.. so it wont be that free. and potentially i'l be watching gokusen the movie at the mall on sunday.. no subtitles and my jap is so bad i wont understand it. hopefully it helps with the learning though.. the story line just cant go wrong i think..

so yeps. talk online to me if you're on msn! i'm online a whole lot more than when i'm back home. in btwn trying to catch live telecasts of some shows on tv in my room, and wasting time doing stupid stuff on the internet and hw.. i hope i'll be free enough :) if i dont waste too much time doing stupid things. time to be more efficient!

take care people

my darlings~ this blog is dead again. despite tm's promise to write often in nagoya where she supposedly has nothing to do at night. tm, u alright?!!! we miss u. and hy and i (hopefully) are playing badminton tomorrow at yck stadium :) i tried calling the bllooody place since ONE pm.and the lady picked up and said 'telephone bookings start at 2pm' so fine. since 2pm i've been calling at 15 minutes' interval till like 6pm when i've finally reached home after supposedly atttempting to do the tree-top trail except it RAINED so we just ate at a coffeeshop till like now cos i have to come home to eat dinner. heeding hy's advice, i got myself an account at the iBook thingie to book myself a 'sports facility' and managed to book 'Court 1' except i can't 'Pay by Credit Card' cos I don't have one nor is the option 'Pay by Cashcard' valid, so I don't know if that's considered booked x.x Omg i'm so long-winded. Oh well, but hopefully i'll get to play badminton with hy tomorrow and then do the tree-top trail later in the afternoon before dinner with hy and sending iris off at the airport.

IRISSSSSS. i miss iris. and i've met her like twice only so far =( during the very short 'Ants in the Pants????' outing and the rather short ice-skating-turned-bowling outing. i really won't mind ice-skating if we want to do it again. bring gloves and socks! umm and don't go at 12pm or 4pm or 7pm when they are resurfacing the ice. and mann luckily bowling is cheap cos i'm just wasting my money sending the bowl(?!) into the gutter. but meeting everyone was great. and laughing insanely and making lots of noise and cheering each other on felt wonderful. i love girly outings. i hate it when guys get together and make VULGAR jokes that are totally not funny. i mean, think about it, shouldn't the swear-word-fad be over like a few years back?! it's not like i don't swear when things go wrong or the like but swearing every three words is a bit over the board and swearing at girls is just unforgivable. ahh i'm bitching again.

i don't understand the video post! (though maybe cos i play it at barely audible volume cos it's 1.44am and everyone in my house is asleep and i just pissed off my mom coming home late and don't want to piss her off by waking her again in the middle of the night x.x)
and how come it doesn't say who posted it!

it feels weird being scolded for coming home late when it's only 1am after getting used to returning home at whenever i want in Edinburgh...
i must try to remember to get home early next time -.-

hello! tsemin asks me to post so i shall. =) and my every post here seems to be a youtube video pimp so this one is no exception XD



Forbidden Colours by David Sylvian & Sakamoto Ryuichi. Hope it makes your world brighter, especially since many of us are worrying about the future~ or you can just laugh at the music video, it's quite lolarious. But i totally want to buy Sylvian's album now (.__. )

... it'll be corny if i say everyone should follow their dreams right?

i'm back =)
and will be gone soon with huiyan hee!

met up with the band boys and tm, peixi (for a short while :( ) and hy (for a wonderful GSS shopping spreeeee and i bought new shoes for my japan trip. which reminds me hy and i haven't actually planned fully and i'm still worried about getting lost haha but all will be well. i always have the travel jitters the day before. i couldn't sleep last night x.x stayed wide awake till 4am) i digress. it was great seeing hy and tm and peixi (though i didn't get to talk much to peixi :( ) good luck for the exams dearrr~ though i'm sure u'll do perfectly fine - u always do *smiless* i love to shop with hy cos we always buy stuffff! YAY! and talking to tm was great =) there's always so much to talk about.. and it just makes me looooong to see all u girls again :( hopefully i'll be seeing chong in japan (as soon as she replies to my fb msg grrrr)

and i was reading my past posts.. and i was talking about my 'virtual' bf. haha we broke up and i have a new 'virtual' bf (mann i know u guys are thinking - omg she's like how old and she's still thinking about her virtual bf x.x haha! sorrry *duckss cl's rotten eggs*) he's like 17 and he's from the uk x.x (abit too close for comfort) and he's like this gangster who sells fake weed - 4 rolls for a tenner (he sprays grasss that he plucks randomly with disinfectant or something and pretends it's weed) and sells sugar as fake drug x.x and whose buddy got stabbed recently by this 'guy he knows' who fled the country and got dissed by his parents. haha how surreal. this is so irrelevant. =) but at least it's not emo *looks pointedly at tm's essay* =P ok everyone wish hy luckk, her results are coming out in like a min's time =)

hrmms. i'm back! was thinking if i stayed away til june.. cin can possibly claim the whole of may! it's only one more week to go. anws cin, i think you'll only see this when you're back in singapore.. possibly on the flight home now? sorry, hy mentioned a date.. but i cant rmb exactly when! we'll try to meet at least once before you guys jet off to japan k?

ok i've been mia cause i've been emo-ing (again). and as i told cin, i didnt really want to make this a sad place cause.. well, if you look back to 2006, i think i was whining in here quite alot. or at least that's what i remember doing all the time, when uni just started and adjusting wasnt easy.

i guess for the issue of playing an instrument again, the topic is already closed. i think most wld know by now that i skipped auditions for the competition, and will not be heading to netherlands anymore. and so the jinx of not being able to travel with a band for a competition still continues. haha. i had a choice this time well but chose otherwise, and felt relieved instead.

It gets really frustrating though when people think that you're running away because you're scared. Admittedly, my trumpet playing.. though slightly better, is still nowhere up to par with the others. But there came a point where.. there wasnt anything worth auditioning for, even if i wasnt up to mark. I know the way the above is being phrased sounds very drama, but that was how I truly felt. Now I kind of understand what cl meant when she says that you shldnt be needing to explain things to pple. Somehow it still frustrates. I shant go into the details here, because, whilst our blog was very stagnant, and prolly not read by others not in the know now, it is still a public one, and I should err on the side of caution.

Does cl still read the blog? I think if you read that line, you'd scold me again for taking things out of context.

and yes, cin. the thing about music. i think paula has mentioned it before, we still appreciate it and all, but i guess.. few will perform again. haha. but one thing i will NOT do regularly will be to touch the piano. i guess with the absence of music making, the piano would do. but it is incredibly frustrating to play (for me). you need coordination of both hands, and you're playing by yourself. just different.

and on about caffeine pills, my goodness. i've never heard abt them before. is it just me? -sheepish look- but that's really bad! and yeah cin. i dont know about fessing up. but i think it's good? like we all now, like you put it 'know what you are thinking normally' oh btw, i read abt eurovision in the newspapers awhile back regarding the norwegian winner. but sadly.. been too lazy to open that link.. will do soon k!

on a completely different note, however, just wanted to share that i've officially graduated. exam results came out today. contrary to what i should be feeling, like happy or excited.. i'm just like. okay. wow. i really can't believe that 3 years have passed (though I wldnt wanna stay in sch for another year) this time round, results wise, as with the bloody "A"s, haha. it is bittersweet as well. i bloody got my 2nd lower, so i shant complain. i barely made it through this sem somehow (hy you were wrong about me not completing that last 20marks!) i barely passed that module, which would spell loads of trouble. gee. i really really hope my current/potential employers will not see my results and dismiss me before i even start work :x

so that's all for now. it's been a long entry. and i hope the emo-ness has been watered down. i cant help it. but yeah. that's what i've been thinking normally for now. and abit. haha.
zhun and the rest.. i think you guys are still having exams? in any case, if you do read this, hang in there ok?

meet up with you guys soon.. i really really cant describe how much i'm looking fwd to the golden week :)

ok i'm lousy at this and i don't know how to link a video -.-
well, watch THISSSS, darlings :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBykhFyy-ZE

despite the rather dodgy ending to the link - it's the VERY newest song that ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER has composed together with DIANE WARREN for the Eurovision Song Contest 2009 PLUS in the finals, both the singer (Jade Ewen) and ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER performed - he played the piano *swooooons* and i have fallen in love with the song - though it's a tad hard to sing -.-

psst and if anyone, at all, is interested in the eurovision song contest, continue reading - if not, ignore the rest :) check out the winner - norway, alexander ryback, fairytale - and the runner-up - iceland, yohanna, is it true! i liked both songs :D compared to the second runner-up turkey -.- with a fat shakira-wannabe - ok not fat, but not sexy. i quite liked the third runner-up - azerbajain (don't know names) always - i actually jz really like the girl. and uk came in 5th :D

i am officially obsessed with eurovision~~ ahhh..
i wish i were that talented - most of them are amazingly talented - though some just try to use lots of gimmicks like fireworks and dresses that don't cover anything - check out germany - they've gotten a leading cabaret dancer for the act (not to sing of cos) and she wears like what? a corset??! and that was AFTER she was asked to revise her costume cos this is a family show x.x

ahh.. i just watched some bbc documentary thing on the malvem hills, where edward elgar was born - i wasn't really watching, but i heard a familiar music and i watched on xD anyway the point is - he composed a piece 'for a choir to sing in the open, while admiring the countryside' which suddenly struck me as such a wonderful and beautiful idea, and ... if i could sing (and if i had the piece), i want to go out into the hills and sing to them :)

my dear tm, and don't say u regret it, who know how long - but a long post from xinyi at 2.20am - bad time isn't it? *shrugs*

well - i think i've said enough about the playing an instrument, and the rg thing :( and i think it just gets us upset - so i'll skip over it xD though i can't emphasize enough how much i miss and love u guys, and how i always think about the things we did - jsut teeny weeny little flashbacks i get at times :D seems so strange - i look at myself in the mirror sometimes and i look exactly the same but so much has happened since those days! and to be honest, i hate growing up :) i do.

first, there's the losing the temper thing. i think i had a phase like that - though i try not to do it so much now. in fact, i don't think i've ever done it since err a certain 'samantha' left my life - i think only huiyan will know who she is - but it was a bad time and i think i lost my temper every other day - and then everything kind of just blew up in my face - and then i moped about it for a few days - and then it seemed like it never happened. but i think i know how u feel, tm, that accidental? outburst of something harsh, something overly rash, and the moment your ears hear it, they send warning signals all over. you see those hurt eyes, and you feel that immense guilt, clashing with that innate anger? irritation? that got you saying something you don't mean to say. you don't want to apologize because you're fuming inside, and that guilt just eats at you. the whole day. and it never goes away. never.

but just one thing about the music that i want to say.. i think... maybe, just maybe, i still have that passion for music with me. i love going for concerts, the music, the ambience, i don't know. and i do love going home in the summer and trashing it out with my piano. i love to sing (in the shower - oh dear) and when i jog by myself (that's why i don't end up jogging a lot - wasting too much breath singing) - omg i can't beleive i just revealed that but that's me :) i do love it. and maybe i can't ever play it professionally or all my life but i'll love it always. and you know what, i still have that little urge to perform one day... maybe it'll be in a small place, maybe in front of my stb colleagues for a party, maybe i'll just sing, or bang out chords on the piano or bob along and pretend to sing.. and i'll treasure that spark always.

(i know i went firstly.. so i should be going secondly.. but ah well, heck xD) and paula dear, caffeine is bad for you, whether in the form of coffee or tea, or caffeine pills (that are very popular with my friends here) or walnuts. it's just bad! as you grow old, you've got to take care of yourself. i feel worried for paula that there's the swine flu and there are cases in canada :( and there's this thing about mortality. you know until like i was seventeen or eighteen, i thought death was a sort of myth, you know, like it only happens to ancient people, and death is sort of far away, and you don't see people dying, not in modern Singapore. Death is a clean affair, a packaging of the corpse, a crematorium fire that burns away all emotions. not until shuxian.. i don't think i've ever even discussed this but i think about it all the time. everytime i hear a certain song i cry cos it reminded me of the photo album her mom showed us, of her lying there, or of the ambitions that her mom so proudly told us about. and all of a sudden, death's so close. you see it. it's not a pretty sight. and it leaves scars and dangly threads. it leaves snapshots of images and endless tears. it makes me cherish life more i suppose though at times i wonder why God would claim such a pretty, smart girl and torture her family so - and why I have been left here in this world, and what am I supposed to do? maybe that's why it's quite hard for me to grasp the concept of religion?

i don't know what's with me and fessing up. maybe cos paula was saying how tm and i were updating each other on life. maybe cos it's nearly 3am. maybe cos tm was being emo too. and thankfully i haven't been drinking. or i'll be even worse probably.

on a happier note, i'm studying for my exams. i've picked feminism, marxism and postcolonialism (so if u want to chat about it, welcome) and neorealism, EH Carr and the Cold War. and i've been playing a MMRPG game :D and i've a virtual bf who's 15 years old and comes from norway (or something like that). time to feel young again ~ i miss having a 15 year old boyfriend xD lol. actually i just miss being 15 years old, and making all the mistakes in the world, and feeling great about it. :D may we always be 15!

ah ok i seem to be perpetually on this. just had a paper today. so i'm having a mini break! am pretty much too tired to do any work anyway. haha.

so do walnuts help keep you awake? haha. i've loads at home! mum uses them in her bread all most of the time. but i wont be needing them for long.. one more paper!

ah paula i hope your essays are done! the deadline shld have passed by now, right? hope all's going well!

and.. hahah i'm not going out to work all THAT soon. i've.. 6 more months now. they just pushed it back to october. and yeah i realised that adults.. generally are more serious but they never really lose that childish side of them. so yeah.. as long as there are people around to goof off with, i guess that childish side will always come out :)

yeah i want many meetups too. it's never enough. like last year it only happened.. once? twice?

what about the rest of you guys? when are you coming back?

AND after talking to you briefly online the other day, paula, i realised that my plans are screwed cause i dont know about them. will prolly be in singapore all the way til like june. then the rest i can only confirm after the 16th of may. if you refer to emo post number 1 that started the long 'essays', you'll find out that i was emo cause.. i was all set to not go to netherlands in july. and i still dont know if i'm gonna be able to go. but if i'm not going to the netherlands, i'll prolly jet off to japan for 6 weeks with an option to extend for another 1 or 2 more, if they still accept me. been dragging my feet about handing in the deposit.

ok this is abrupt. but that's all for now.

take care people. drink more water! esp the people in singapore (if you read this!) the weather's scorching hot!

hello dears :)

ah being psychic is good! it means we share a special connection from the bonds that we all have.
i'm so tired but i'm still working on my paper - and my roommate just told me that walnuts are nature's caffeine, so if you want a natural alternative to coffee, eat walnuts! (i'll tell you if it works when i finish my paper)

i've been working on this paper for 4 days (i scheduled only 2) so i'm a bit stressed that the backlog of work will come and bite me! but i guess things will work out in the end, they always will :)

hope everyone has been doing well. at times i stare out of my window and think about the good times that we had, especially that sleepover at nic's house with her hol(e)y shirt and all that eating and silly photos. those were good times. even as some of us *ahem* tm go out to work, let's never lose that child in us, the silliness in us that keeps us young, and close.

can't wait to see all of you again! i vote for many dinners/lunches/teas/sleepovers!

when is everyone coming back? and is anyone flying away for the summer? i'll be back end june!

paula :)

sorry for the spam pple.

haha paula! i swear you're psychic. was just thinking that i havent talked to you in ages.. and lo and behold! i see a post on the batch blog.. haha.

i was gonna randomly post that.. i havent worn our batch shirt in ages.. and i'm gonna try to locate it after the exams. it's somewhere in my cupboard and i kinda miss seeing it.

when you're bored mugging you think of random things, old times, studying times.

will write a proper post the next time (i'm longwinded)

in the meantime,
hy. pls dont get too stressed with school!
paula: do cheer up! i miss you too! catch up soon..
cin: WHERE'S MY ESSAY?! haha. kidding. hope you're not too busy :)

the rest: WHERE ARE YOU?!

-end of insanity-